Buying a gift can feel like a test. You want it to show thoughtfulness and how you've taken the recipients interests and personality into account. Yet according to the authors of a new psychology paper this isn't an optimal approach.

You and the recipient will likely feel closer to one another if you buy a gift that says something about you not them. It's an act of personal disclosure. Sharing intimacies with others – our private thoughts and feelings is a powerful relationship catalyst. The researchers are suggesting that giving a gift that reveals something of yourself can have a similar effect.

This means that people may be better off offering more self-reflective gifts to build stronger social connections.

The Language of Gifts by Deanna Washington tells us that we should also look at the preference of type of gift of the recipient.

I try to give people gifts that make memories and gifts they will treasure for years to come. Gifts that are unique to each person's spirit.

When I buy a gift I make sure I write in the card about the meaning of the gift. It is truly the thought and not the cost. But it must have much thought ad love put into it.

Make a gift a cause that matters in their name. An example would be a donation to the cancer society.

What makes you happier, giving or receiving. The short answer is neither. Psycologists Tim Kasser and Kennon M Sheldon analyzed Christmas experiences that could make people feel better and broke it down to %.

1. Time and family
2. Religious Activities
3. Helping Others
4. Sensual enjoyment of the holiday (food and drink)

They found that people spending time shopping, wrapping gifts, and spending $ gave them little holiday joy.

A gift reveals the giver. Christmas giving makes us anxious, not just because it's an exchange but it is revelatory.

John F Sherry explored The Dark Side of the Gift and found that people are fare more ambivalent and even negative about gift giving than our culture suggests.
Potential givers found a way of easing the stress of the holidays and giving you and edge on keeping your cool, not to mention your spirit.

1. The genuine giver: They really think about you and pick a gift.
2. Status Hound:
3. Wolf in sheep's clothing. They think of a wonderful gift, but Christmas is about them, not the receiver.
4. Power Player: They are likeliest to hurt or disappoint. They give a gift that has something in in for them. For an example a husband gives his wife a vacuum cleaner.
5. The complainer: They go on and on about all the inconveniences of buying you the present.

As mentioned earlier, the five love languages will help you decide on a gift for someone. You must look at their spirit or their preferences.
Gary Chapman wrote the book The Five Love Languages. He says that there are five major types of gifts people enjoy getting. They include gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service and physical touch.

My suggestion is to take all of these things into consideration.

First. Think about what type of present the person would really enjoy. It may be the gift of service verses a sweater or tool kit. Think about how you can put your personality into the gift. If you are giving your grand-kids a present maybe they would rather get tickets to Disney on ice which you can take them too than to get another toy or new outfit. They really want to spend quality time with you.
You may want to take your parents to a play or concert instead of buying them something that they really don't need. Spending time with loved ones is one of the best ways to create memories.  

One of my suggestions is a gift card.  It could be to one of their favorite places or have them try something new.  If you live in the Minneapolis area, a gift card to TasteofWayzata would be great. They offer food tours.  This could be a family event and build memories.  Of course I always think travel certificates are good.  It doesn't matter if it is for a weekend or more.  Many memories are created with travel.  

For more information contact us at www.petersontravelpros.com

It’s your husband’s birthday and you want to make a surprise dinner reservation somewhere you guys are always talking about trying, but you suddenly draw a blank. Your mind goes over all of your tasty options, and your brain worries itself over whether you'll make the "wrong" choice. Unfortunately, you can't have it all. Or can you?

Taste of Wayzata Food Tours offers different food adventures where you visit 4-5 different eateries and enjoy specialty tastings of food and drink at each stop. Enthusiastic and knowledgeable tour guides will not only shepherd guests to the restaurants, they’ll share historical, architectural and insider scoop about the quaint town of Wayzata as well. We also offer private tours and events that can be customized to suit any occasion
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. • Bubbles, Brunch and Brew – 2-1/2-hour tour on weekends - $45/person
  • Happy Hour Tour – 3-hour tour on Friday evenings - $75/person
  • Sip, Savor and Stroll – 3-hour tour on Thursday afternoons - $75/person 
  • Craft Brewery Tour – 3-hour tour on Sundays (includes supper) - $85/person

Wayzata is the gateway to Lake Minnetonka and home to a seriously hip, yet sophisticated food scene. Known for its inclusive culture, this is where chefs and restauranteurs have migrated to show off their culinary flair – just 20 minutes west of Minneapolis.

To learn more, go to www.tasteofwayzata.com or email [email protected].

Review from past guest:

"Our brother-in-law treated us to a wonderful dining experience in Wayzata. We were taken to several different restaurants with samples of food and drink from each place. All were delicious. Our guide, Bethe, provided valuable information about each establishment as well as the history of the town. Several highlights were the dessert at the chocolatier’s and the wonderful cocktail watching the sunset over Wayzata Bay on the deck of 6Smith. We would highly recommend this experience for a special occasion or just an enjoyble evening."

Mimi and Steve Klane
St. Louis Park, MN

Whether or not to buy a cruise drink package when you sail is one of the most common questions I get from cruisers. Sometimes passengers balk at the price tag, which can seem steep when you are making a bulk payment as opposed to paying for each drink individually. Others worry that they won't get good service from bartenders if they have a package (or conversely, be considered "partiers" by other people).
Here are some reasons you might want to consider buying a cruise drink package, as well as times when buying a package isn't a smart idea. However, always keep in mind that if you choose a free drink package, you still have to pay the gratuity, which can add up. So even though the package states Free Beverage Package, it really isn't free.


A Cruise Drink Package Is a Good Deal If…
You like knowing your bill ahead of time.
Sure, it can be painful when you pay a few hundred dollars for drinks before your cruise even starts. But once you've gone ahead and paid, you have the luxury of being able to order drinks at most bars and restaurants without having to worry about your final bill.

If you're still undecided before you board, keep in mind that you can usually buy a package during the first couple of days -- but it won't apply retroactively to those first few margaritas you downed during sail away.

You like sodas, specialty coffee drinks and bottled water.
People who are new to cruising often don't understand that almost all drinks besides basic tea, coffee and tap water carry a charge. That means that if your daughter has a Diet Coke habit or you enjoy fresh-squeezed orange juice in the mornings or a latte in the afternoons, you'll have to pay up. Cruise drink packages can cover all of the above, as well as nonalcoholic mocktails, if you don't go for booze. However, keep in mind that they give you a lot of ice in your soda.  Ask for just a little ice when ordering soda.

Also, don't forget the bottled water. If you have a lot of shore excursions in a hot climate, such as the Caribbean or Eastern Mediterranean, you will want to bring some water with you on shore -- and when you're on a set tour, you might not have time to stop at a local convenience store to get your own. A package makes it easy to grab a bottle on your way off the ship, without worry.

You like convenience.
Sure, some cruise lines allow you to bring on your own soda or bottled water (although Carnival has banned bottled beverages -- any drinks carried on must be in cans). And almost every cruise line allows you to bring at least a bottle or two of wine onboard. But sometimes, it's just not logistically easy to do, especially if you're flying into a foreign country or don't have a rental car to get to a store. Having a drink package means you can skip the annoying runaround.

A Cruise Drink Package Might Not Be a Good Deal If...
You prefer a specific brand or type of drink.If you're someone who must have Patron in your margarita or won't drink house wines, then you might want to examine drink packages to see if they are a better deal. Many drink packages will cover cocktails or wine up a certain amount; if your drink is more expensive, you either have to pay full price or simply make up the difference.
Note: The cruise lines don't always make it easy to find out exactly what drinks onboard cost. Your best bet to see if your favorite cocktail makes the list is to check the cruise line's website or ask the question on the Cruise Critic forums for the line you're sailing.


A Cruise Drink Package Isn't As Good a Deal if…
You prefer a bottle of wine at dinner. 
Most cruise line drink packages apply to wines by the glass. That's great if you're someone who likes to match wines with your appetizers and entrees, or like a different type of wine than your dining companions. But if you prefer to order a bottle of wine or want a larger selection, keep in mind that while some drink packages offer discounts on bottles, many do not. (Some cruise lines have drink packages that ONLY cover wine at dinner. This might be your best bet.)

Your cabin mate has different drinking patterns than you.
Some -- but not all -- lines require both adults in the cabin to purchase the same package. If you like to drink Scotch, but your wife is a teetotaler, you're better off buying drinks separately. Keep in mind that most bartenders and waiters will only serve you one drink at a time -- and will refuse to serve you if you are caught sneaking a glass to a companion.

Some alcohol is already included.
River cruises usually include beer and wine at meals in the fare, as do premium cruise lines such as Azamara; the latter also includes some types of cocktails. Unless you're someone who really needs brand-name alcohol, what you already have might likely suffice.

You just don't drink much.
There's no way to get around it. The absolute best way to determine if a drink package is best for you is to get out that calculator and tally up how much you would spend without the package. In general, if you think you're going to order five or so alcoholic drinks a day during your trip, a package is worth considering.

By Chris Gray Faust
10/30/2018
Cruise Critic

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There are some great value inside cabins, but you have to be careful. While some insides are hardly more than dark closets with a bed and bath, others are downright spacious or have cool decor and nifty technological features. And if you time it right, you can snag an inside cabin for less than $75 a night.

These days, not all inside cabins are the bottom-of-the-barrel inventory. Creative cabin designs -- such as insides that sleep as few as one or as many as six, staterooms with virtual views or interior-facing windows, and Zen-like boudoirs with spa perks -- may not be the cheapest options, but they're usually more affordable than similar cabins with actual ocean views or balconies.

And, don't forget about oddball cabins -- like the one-of-a-kind, 281-square-foot accessible cabin 4479 on Norwegian Spirit -- that aren't going to be listed separately from the standard cabins in the same category, but can net you more space. (To find these, you'll want to pore over cruise line deck plans (as well as Cruise Critic's cabin reviews and message boards.)
For a general overview of the highlights and lowlights of inside cabin categories across mainstream mega-ship cruise lines, here are our picks for the nine best inside cabins -- and three you may very well want to avoid.

1. Best Standard Inside Cabin Winner: 
Carnival Cruise Line's Standard Insides, 185 square feet
What You Get: Carnival, that every man cruise line, does not believe that those who pay less for inside cabins should suffer in tiny digs. While other lines average about 140 square feet of cabin to those booking the lowest category of inside cabin, Carnival starts off with a comfortable 185 square feet. (A close runner-up, size-wise, is Celebrity Cruises' Solstice Class, with insides starting at 183 square feet.)
Just like their suite-living shipmates, passengers in Carnival's standard insides get bathrobes for on-ship use, flat-screen TVs and comfy beds and bedding. Carnival Breeze adds some nifty storage options, such as bureau shelves that fold down or up for custom space.

2. Best "Deluxe" Inside Cabin Winner:
Holland America's Large Interior staterooms, 200 square feet.
What You Get: Cramped and claustrophobic are two words not typically associated with HAL's Large Interior staterooms. Eurodam, Nieuw Amsterdam, Noordam, Oosterdam, Westerdam and Zuiderdam each offer more than two dozen of these cabins; most other ships (excluding Prinsendam) feature just a handful. On Koningsdam, there are 18 of these cabins; the line's newest ship, Nieuw Statendam, has even more Large Interior staterooms than Koningsdam, each of which offers up to a whopping 266 square feet.

These spacious digs tout tasteful design schemes, and some feature roomy L-shaped layouts. HAL also offers gratis robes and shoeshine service to all passengers, a nice touch for a line that keeps one foot in the classic cruising camp. One key reminder: There is some cabin category overlap -- i.e., Standard Interiors and Large Interiors might be labeled in the same category. Consult your deck plan or ask your travel agent to be sure.

3. Best Inside Cabin With a View


Winner: Royal Caribbean's Promenade Cabins, 194 square feet
What You Get: Royal Caribbean invented the concept of the cabin with an interior-facing window. These promenade cabins look out onto the Royal Promenade, an enclosed shopping street lined with stores, restaurants and watering holes. Whether you love an inside cabin with a view or hate the lack of privacy (your across-the-way neighbors and promenade wanderers can see in when the shades are up), you will find the biggest of the promenade cabins on the Oasis-class ships. (Smaller versions are also found on the line's five Voyager-class ships and three Freedom-class ships.)

4. Best Inside Cabin with a Virtual View


Winner: Royal Caribbean's Virtual Balcony cabins, from 101 square feet

What You Get: These industry-first Virtual Balcony inside cabins come equipped with 82-inch LED, HD, floor-to-ceiling screens that stream real-time views and sounds of the sea and ports -- everything but the ocean breeze -- right into passengers' rooms.

Every single interior stateroom (nearly 400 of them) aboard Quantum of the Seas, Anthem of the Seas and Ovation of the Seas feature the virtual balconies -- including the single-occupancy Studio (measuring 101 square feet), Standard Interior (166 square feet) and Large Interior staterooms (measuring 178 to 187 square feet). The line's newer ships, Harmony of the Seas and Symphony of the Seas, feature virtual balconies in several of their interior cabins, and Navigator of the Seas, Explorer of the Seas and Voyager of the Seas also each have a number of Virtual Balcony cabins.

5. Best Solo Inside Cabins


Winner: Norwegian Cruise Line's Studio staterooms, 100 square feet
What You Get: Norwegian's pint-size Studios, found on Norwegian Bliss, Breakaway, Getaway, Escape, Epic and Pride of America, make a big impression for numerous reasons. They're dedicated as solo cabins (and priced for solo travelers as well, with no single supplement fee), a concept that Norwegian pioneered in the mainstream cruise industry that is largely based around couples and families. The staterooms feature funky, multicolor lighting effects and a round window that looks onto the corridor, and contain a full-size bed and lots of storage you can hog all to yourself.

But even better is that residency in these cabins gives exclusive access to the Studio Lounge, a hip hangout where cruise travelers can watch TV, hang out with a coffee or beer, and socialize with other solos.

6. Best Accessible Inside Cabin


Winner: Celebrity Cruises' Accessible Insides, 245 square feet
What You Get: Six roomy inside cabins on each of the line's five Solstice-class ships -- Celebrity Solstice, Celebrity Eclipse, Celebrity Equinox, Celebrity Silhouette and Celebrity Reflection -- feature cabin doors that automatically open with a card swipe, roll-in showers, grab bars and ramped bathroom thresholds.

Celebrity's newest ship, Celebrity Edge, has three accessible inside cabins featuring a sleek design, but they're slightly smaller than those in the Solstice class. The line's other ships also feature accessible insides, but they're even smaller and don't have the automatic doors.

7. Best Standard Family Insides


Winner: Disney Cruise Line's Standard Insides, 164 square feet (larger Deluxe Family Inside units measure 200 square feet)

What You Get: Always in a category of its own, Disney just does things differently than the other lines. Its Standard Inside staterooms are family friendly without being special family cabins. On all four ships, they offer the line's famous bath-and-a-half, featuring a room with a shower/tub and sink, and another with a toilet and sink -- great for avoiding fuss at bed and bath time. (Deluxe Inside staterooms offer all the same amenities, with a bit more space.)
A convertible sofa and a pull-down upper berth house the extra guests (kids or friends) and a curtain divides the room in half so Mom and Dad can stay up reading or chatting with the lights on while the wee ones snore away, visions of talking mice dancing in their heads.

While Disney Magic and Wonder have the bigger cabins (184 square feet for Standard, 214 square feet for Deluxe), Fantasy and Dream get the nod for their fantastic touches: raised beds for easier luggage storage, iPod docking stations and "magical portholes" -- faux windows that show a real-time video of the view outside the ship, enhanced with animation of Disney characters swimming or flying by
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8. Best Special Inside Family Cabin


Winner: Royal Caribbean's Family Interior Staterooms, 324 square feet
What You Get: You can squeeze a family of four in a regular inside cabin, but it isn't pretty. If you've got a family of five or six, you could book two cabins -- or nab one of Royal Caribbean's special Family Interior cabins instead. The biggest we found are on Freedom of the Seas, Liberty of the Seas and Independence of the Seas; they sleep up to six on two twin beds that convert into a queen, a pullout sofa for two and a double pull-down bed. (Oasis-class family insides have a separate bunk room for the kiddos, but are significantly smaller at 260 square feet.)

The cabins feature plenty of storage space, but only have one bathroom. Mom and Dad, consider leaving the bathroom squabbles to the young ones and shower at the spa.

9. Best Inside "Spa" Cabin


Winner: Costa Cruises' Samsara Spa Cabins, from 149 square feet
What You Get: Costa Cruises pioneered the "spa" cabin: specially designed accommodations clustered around a ship's wellness area. The spa staterooms are available on the seven Costa ships equipped with a Samsara Spa, and include inside configurations (as well as outsides and suites) with bamboo-effect doors and restful decor. Expect orchids in vases, aromatic diffusers and calming colors combined with more sumptuous bedding than the standard cabins, as well as eco-cotton bathrobes and Elemis goodies in the bathroom.

Beyond the accommodation, we love the perks: The spa cabin package includes unlimited access to the spa complex with its thalassotherapy bath, aromatherapy-focused Tridosha Sanctuary (with Turkish bath), meditation and R&R haven Temple of Peace, and the Japanese Tea Room. (Guests who book a Samsara spa cabin on Costa Diadema also gain access to the ship's Solarium.) Spa cabin passengers get exclusive access to the Samsara spa restaurant, but dining there does incur a fee; spa treatments also cost extra.

And Three to Avoid Too Small Cabin: 
Standard Inside Cabins on Majesty of the Seas, 114 square feet
What You Get: Feel the squeeze in the smallest standard cabins offered by Royal Caribbean (and among the very smallest industrywide). At 114 square feet, these insides are glorified closets -- but Royal Caribbean manages to stuff a lot into these cabins, including a vanity table with extendable working space. With pull-down beds forming bunks, you could even sleep four in these tiny digs -- just don't all stand up at once.

Hit or Miss Cabin: Carnival's Category 1A Cabins
What You Get: Carnival says its 1A cabins measure 185 square feet, but Cruise Critic members with measuring tapes beg to differ. Booking a 1A is a bit of a crapshoot: Some have pull-down bunk beds, while others have a bunk and pullout sofa. Some, surprisingly, have porthole windows, meaning they're technically outsides. Many of the 1A's are odd-shaped, squeezed-into-corners cabins that come lumped into one cheap category, so their layouts vary by ship and even by cabin number.
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Awkward Cabin: Family Inside Cabins on Norwegian Epic, 128 square feet
What You Get: While the snug solo Studio cabins aboard Norwegian Epic (and other Norwegian ships) get high points for their design and perks, many Cruise Critic members have warned that the same ship's Family Inside Staterooms on Decks 13 and 14 aren't nearly as boast-worthy. Complaints vary but largely hone in on the cabins' small size, awkward layout (including poor TV positioning) and in-cabin noise from the bathroom. Another reviewer griped that despite being billed as family-friendly, the cabin wasn't large enough to fit in a cot for a baby on a recent sailing; the general overall consensus was that this "family-friendly" cabin wasn't truly suitable, space-wise, for more than two passengers.

Cruise Critic
By Erica Silverstein 
​11/6/2018